Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Faux Candy Apples

I love to trick people and when I saw these faux candy apples at
  Stow and Tell U's post a few weeks ago, I nearly fell out of my shell!

 twelve to be exact.

  I knew I had the supplies on hand to trick everyday
 folk into taking large bites of Styrofoam. 

 We could laugh together as they
 beat me down with the remaining apple stick. 

 I seem to have a love of faux fruit. 
 You can see more apples here:
  Apple Christmas Tree which by the way, I will
 have three done for my Christmas tree trio!  Stay tuned.
(Also a Styrofoam surprise which doesn't include fruit of any kind)

I started by drilling some pilot holes in the
 apples so that I didn't collapse the fruit when
 inserting the twig.  Not that I knew it
 would collapse or anything....just an
 educated guess cuz I'm smart like that! 

Glue and paint were mixed just like the instructions at
 You should pop over and see her apples.  They are suweeeeet!

Glue paint was poured over the apples

and a few sprinkles were added! (one more step in my trickery)

After they were dry, I sprayed each apple with a few coats of satin clear coat spray paint.  Gloss paint would have been more suitable, because who doesn't like shiny things but hey, you gotta use what's on hand.

You guessed it!  It wouldn't be Feral Turtle if there were no spiders....
Thanks Heather for this slight addiction!
For permanent adhesion, I opted out of hot glue and used contact cement.  Worked like a charm.   

 I decided to use them at our Thanksgiving buffet for labeling food.  I was going to use them as name placement cards but being trapped at a table full of hungry peeps, it would be harder for me to duck from flying sticks

Somebody actually screamed and threw one of the apples on the ground shouting spider obscenities.  Poor Charlotte, she didn't know what hit her.

After straightening out her legs, she was fine,
 although hours later I found her swimming in the punchbowl
 singing old Irish folksongs. 

 Somebody spiked the punch! 

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Sunday, October 12, 2014

Rocket Stove / Pizza Oven Part 4

 Unfortunately every time I looked at the pizza oven,  it conjured up memories of  the bubonic plague, a.k.a. the Black Death! 
 See part three , where the plague lays a smackdown on poor Feral Turtle :(

 I'd walk out the door, see the oven and have to go lie down and feel sorry for myself

   Luckily I have one of those bodies that forgets very easily. 
 Proof is in not one kid, but two! 

  Soon after Danni's yummy fruit crumble,  rolled out of the oven,
 the plague was merely a faint memory.
This is the only dish that turns out every time!
 Chimney is complete with a cap built from the bottom of a keg. 

We had to burn the interior form out of the oven, which was pretty fierce.   
HOLY CRAP call the freakin fire department.
Check out the fire department on the right and left side of the oven.  My Hero Gnomes!

 It survived!

Mr FT put his fancy chef hat on and started cooking up a storm.  Our first pizza was somewhat of a failure, as was pizza number two and three.  Maybe even pizza four.    Luckily I forgot to take pictures of our failures. 

 Actually, I lied...I documented every one of our failures but Mr. FT blabbed like a mad man through the video, hamming it up, (what a fame whore), so I deleted them.  Okay that's not true either cuz I totally would have shared that with you. hehe  Let's just say they weren't internet worthy plus we swore a little.

A SHORT pizza video for you....this one was just cheese and sauce but it was delicious!


And some muffins...not so good in the pizza oven but the ones I baked in the regular oven were YUMMY.  Thanks Magali for the recipe!
  You can find it here at her blog: The Little White House on the Seaside.
 PS We ate the failed ones from the pizza oven anyways.   They tasted that good Magali!

We also whipped up a batch of buns for a trial run.....They were eaten before the end of the day. 
Somebody needs to get on the treadmill. 

Roxul Insulation was secured around the rocket stove.  We wrapped that baby up tight.  

 The base of the outdoor oven was covered with cement board.

  Not being able to bare the thought of laying more rocks (bubonic plague memories), we've decided to break up the expansive area with some sort of  tiles.  Any suggestions? 
I'll be going on a five kilometer run today.......thanks to our new outdoor oven!
Again, I lied. 
 Look out couch, here I come!

Friday, October 3, 2014

Fifty Shades Of Turtle

Ahhhh ummmm yah so thanks Heather my friend blog acquaintance from The Beating Hearth!  I owe you one!

Haha  Just kidding...this was kinda fun!

Actually you probably didn't really want to know this about me, but it counts as a blog post...and I usually post on Fridays and I was too lazy  busy to edit my cooking pictures from the rocket stove 

and bury all of the failures.

so here is my Friday Post

1. What are you wearing?
I'm slumming it in Coco Chanel, but usually I wear Versace! 
 They make that in pajamas right?

2. Ever been in love?
I am in love with fudge.  I wish I had some right now......

3. Ever have a terrible break-up?
Why yes, I have.  I made this amazing fudge, but it kinda burned and I couldn't break it out of the pan.  It was terrible :(

but I ate it anyways ;(

4. How tall are you?
Put it this way....I usually need a ladder.  But when I'm on that ladder, I would say pretty tall.  So I am going to say pretty tall as my final answer!  Is that the right answer?  Do I win the million?

5. How much do you weigh?
It depends on what I am carrying.  If I have bricks for the rocket stove in my hand then a lot more than  if I have feathers for my fascinator.   And do I include the ladder?

6. Any tattoos?

I've sported a few rub-ons in my day and they might have had a skull or not.  Probably not but
 it had a maple leaf for Canada!

7. Any piercings?

I really hate needles....but I was twelve and stupid...just my ears and only one hole in each.  I kinda remember the warning I heard too....
."If God wanted you to have holes in your head, you would have been born with holes in your head."

8. OTP (One true pair, favorite fictional couple?)

Gaius Baltar and Six of course.  Are there any better fictional couples??  

9. Favorite Show?
BSG of course!  (Battlestar Galactica) 2004-2009 version  That is the only one to watch!

10. Favorite Bands?
11. Something you miss?
 Fudge.  I really miss you fudge.  I think I should make some today!

12. Favorite Song?
She's got electric boobs....her mom does too, you know I read it in a magazine oh oh.   or 
 Hold me close I'm Tony Danza.  Just kidding.  Too many to list, but I do like Heather, my new acquaintances Dirty Deeds Dunderchee.  That is truly a classic!  Rock on Heather

13. How old are you?

 Sometimes people ask me if I'm you think they are being mean or probably cuz I look so young?  I am totally taking that one as a compliment!

14. Zodiac sign?

I've been called a

15. Quality to look for in a partner.

Good in bed!
 and he must be able to weld.

16. Favorite Quote? 

Commander William Adama: Sometimes, you have to roll a hard six.
See #9

17. Favorite Actor?

Hmmmmm....I really don't know...I think I watch too much TV.  Too many choices.

18. Favorite Color?
The primaries and of course black and white.....then I can have them all. Muhahahahaha.

19. Loud music or soft?

 Sorry I couldn't hear you over the music.

 20. Where do you go when you are sad? 
To my Happy Place!

21.  How long does it take you to shower?
Why........ should I wait for you?

22.  How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
I'm still not ready.   I guess I should do something about that.  It's almost 5pm!

23. Ever been in a physical fight?

Of course....I have siblings!

24. Turn on?
 The TV.....I am pretty good with the remote.

25. Turn-off?

The TV but only when I can't keep my eyes open anymore.

26. The reason I started blogging?
So my kids would think I am famous.  

27. Fears?
 Losing my remote control.

28. Last thing that made you cry?
When I lost my remote control. 

29. Last time you said you loved someone?
 When I found my remote control.....I told it how much I loved it......oh wait, that was someone, not something..... why just today but I was drinking quite heavily!

30. Meaning behind the name of your blog (Feral Turtle)?

Mr. FT was jawing on about feral mules in California.  He tried to tell me that there was a population explosion of these animals.  They were multiplying like rabbits and the wildlife authorities opened season on them!  Anyone with a gun could go out and cull the herd. 
We were driving on a freeway......I was kinda listening but concentrating more on driving.  When it dawned on me what he was blabbering about, I quickly enlightened him that mules were sterile so it was impossible for them to be feral.  He realized at that moment his story had been made but believe me, it didn't stop him.
 He shares the same sign as me...see # 14 but not in date.
  Anyways I kinda thought it was funny (but don't tell him that)!  But if I called myself a mule, people might think I'm an I picked the next best thing, turtles, cuz I am kinda like one, tucked into my shell here.  That's how the Feral Turtle discovered me.

31. Last book you read?

The Rising....a book about the zombie apocalypse cuz it is totally gonna happen and I need to learn how to survive! 
 It wasn't Fifty Shades of Grey or the next two books cuz turtles wouldn't read that kinda smutty, sexy book.....hehehehehehe.

32. Book you are currently reading?
City of the Dead....part 2 to #31

33. Last show you watched?
BSG for about the 20th time and then 
The Walking Dead.......See #31 

34. Last person you talked to?

Hmmmmm does count as talking....that would be Mr. FT

35. The relationship between you and the person you just texted?

 My phone company to tell them what crappy service I am getting for the obscene amounts of money they charge me per month! 

36. Favorite food?
does fudge count as food?
37. Place you want to visit?
The building store so I can finish my damn bedroom!  I need windows!
 38. Last place you were?
In the kitchen cleaning.

39.  Do you have a crush?
I'm with Andi from Delusions Of Ingenuity on this one
 Number Six from Battlestar Galactica

40. Last time you kissed someone?

I kissed my remote when I found it and then I kissed a piece of fudge that I just made

41. Last time you were insulted?
Last time I cooked not including fudge cuz everybody loves fudge!
42. Favorite flavor of sweet?
Is there any bad flavor of sweet?

43. What instruments do you play?
 I can make a symphony on my tablesaw and my drill is in the key of a minor.   I play the piano, and I play a mean Happy Birthday on the guitar.

44. Favorite piece of jewelry?
You mean tools?   I really love my Bosch drill and I have a crush on Ms Milwaukee!

45. Last sport you played?

Is TV a sport?

46. Last song you sang?
My ringtone from True Blood. 

47. Favorite chat up line?

Have you seen BSG? It's such a good show.  You really should watch it and then contact the producers and tell them to make it happen again.  They will know what you mean

48. Have you ever used it?

All the time......people avoid me now and call me a Trekkie, which is okay, as it's not a bad show, but believe me, it's no BSG.

49.  Last time you hung out with anyone?

 Like to dry?  After we grinded the concrete for the countertop of the rocket stove, I was soaked and hung out to dry, so that was three days ago.  Post coming soon.....

50. Who should answer these questions next?
I am hoping you guys want to play.......and they usually comment on my blog so hopefully they will read this post and say, "Oh Feral Turtle....thank you so much for inviting us to play.  We love you for it!  You're so awesome and we won't seek revenge or anything crazy like that!"


Amy from Stow and Tell U
Tuula from the Thrifty Rebel
Sherry from Thrift My House
 Don't hate me ladies....hate the game not the player!


Monday, September 29, 2014

Guest Post....Being Pink

Come check out my guest post at 
Tuula, the host of The Thrifty Rebel, is a wonderful creative Canadian that I love to follow.
  She crafts beautiful garden art out of thrifted items and I swear she wastes nothing!
I don't really swear...only when I have a hammer in my hand.
 Her home and her yard reflect her creative mind! 
Tuula was brave enough to ask me to guest post at her blog and I am so excited!
I will be showing my pink side......

Friday, September 26, 2014

Rocket Stove / Pizza Oven Part Three

Unfortunately you will not see pizza cooking in this post but something will get cooked!  Luckily for you I will not show you pictures of sweaty armpits or back sweat either, so there's that to look forward to too!
Mario (me, the boss) worked the cement mixer, feverishly mixing concrete, while Luigi, the worker, danced with the wheelbarrow, filling the form.  More pizza points for Mario!

With the foundation complete, next up was the framework.
Pressure treated lumber consisting of 4x4's and 2x6's were used to build the frame.  Concrete fasteners  secured the structure  to the foundation with stainless steel brackets.
This framework needed Mario again.  Back to the mixer I slaved, while Luigi danced his way through a little bit of wheelbarrow opera!   Our special mix was used which you can see here.  Pizza points!!
Building the form for the pour.

Mr. FT welding yet again!

Two ammonites were secured to the front of the form.  They will be visible after the front edge of the mold is removed.

Form  is siliconed, metal reinforcement is added and ready for the pour in the morning.

Concrete sits to cure.  Tarps covered this for a few days and it was sprayed with water at least four times.

Just as you thought you were going to see something cooking, here I am to bore you with all the technical difficulties.  It was truly challenging to stand around, watching Mr. Welding Man do his thing, but I survived it all and am here to tell you his story!
Holes were cut into the top of the keg for heat and flame to escape.  Luckily we had this stainless steel pan salvaged from a few years back.  Can you believe it was within inches of the size we needed.  How lucky was that?  Mr FT used a zipcut disk, cut a circle, and fitted the pan to sit  on top of some flanges that he welded on to the sides of the keg. 

Rocket stove is fitted into the structure, levelled and secured with a few welds.

Stainless steel is added to the top of the pan to close the stove from the base of where the pizza oven will sit.

All done.

A top plate of upside down 5/16 checker plate was used as a cooking surface.  The video below shows us already putting it to use.  Egg pizza!


A chimney is built using an old corny keg.   The chimney cap (not shown) was the top of an old sanke keg.  We were like the ultimate scavengers using all parts of the kegs! 
Again, we means Mr FT....a.k.a Luigi.
But being Mario and the head of concrete mixing department, this entitles Mario to as much pizza as she chooses!  And whatever kind she wants, even if it includes pineapple!

Building the damper for the chimney!

Framework for the pizza oven is secured to concrete base

Two days of rock and brick begin...

A special refractory mix was used to glue the rocks and bricks together.
  You can find the recipe here at

And this is where I got sick!

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